#003 Evidence of the Essay “Imposter Outsider” by Mary Camarillo, published by Women Writers, Women Books on August 21, 2025
What kind of essay is this: Argumentative; Descriptive; Expository; Critical; Narrative; and/or Historical; etc.? I would describe this essay as narrative because I’m writing about how my own experiences allowed me to learn more about myself and my writing process.
I was a retired government auditor when I started writing fiction thirteen years ago. I had no MFA, English degree, or creative writing credential, and some folks didn’t take me seriously. Including me. I hesitated to call my fiction “literary” because it sounded pretentious. I’m still reluctant to read my poems in public, even when they’ve won prizes and cash awards. (BELOW: Mary in Kenya, 2012)
As I found a literary community, I was shocked to learn that imposter syndrome defines the lives of many writers I admire. It was helpful to realize I wasn’t the only one who felt like a fraud. I’ve learned how grateful authors were when I showed up for their readings, wrote reviews, and shared their good news. Grateful authors are generous to those who have been generous to them. What goes around comes around.
(BELOW: List of writers that have inspired Mary Camarillo)
Susan Straight
Lisa Alvarez
Sammantha Dunn
http://www.samanthadunnwriter.com
Kate Anger
Shelley Blanton Stroud
https://shelleyblantonstroud.com
Peter Gerrard
https://www.facebook.com/peter.gerrard.142
Sarah Rafael Garcia
https://www.cuentosmobile.com/bio
Victoria Patterson
https://www.victoriapatterson.com/
Andrea Leeb
https://www.andrealeebauthor.com
Richard Bausch
https://www.facebook.com/RichardBauschWriter/
(BELOW: with Mary in July of 2025)
Can you describe the step-by-step process of researching and writing this essay from beginning to end; including dates when you began writing the essay and when you finished the essay? Four years ago, when my first novel was published, I unsuccessfully pitched an essay about imposter syndrome to a few publications. It was largely based on my work experience as a mid-level female manager in the 1970’s. Those were the days of assertiveness training, women’s conferences, and self-help books. The idea back then was that imposters needed to “fix themselves.”
After publishing two novels and working on a third, I’ve thought a lot about where my stories come from and realized that having an outsider’s perspective, being able to inhabit other personalities, and putting ourselves in places where we’re not a perfect fit, is critical for good story telling. It might be a “syndrome” but it’s not something that necessarily needs “fixing.”
In mid-July of this year, Barbara Bos from “Women Writers, Women’s Books” reached out to me and asked if I’d like to write for her site. I’d just written an essay in my Substack newsletter “Life with Riley” about my terror in reading one of my poems (Driving to the House Where My Father is Dying) in front of Orange County’s Poet Laureate Gustavo Hernandez. I dusted off my original essay, rewrote it including more of my recent, personal experiences, and sent it to Barbara on July 30th.
https://www.facebook.com/chicaderock
https://www.hernandezpoetry.com
Where did you do most of your writing for this essay? I write on a laptop in my cluttered office, stacked with books I’ve read and those I plan to read. Looking over my shoulder is a painting done my brother of our cat Riley, who acts as my Manager of Marketing when he’s in the mood. Next to Riley are blow ups of both book covers, as a reminder to celebrate my successes.
What is the thesis statement or the main idea of the essay? Our experiences—whether we perceive them as earned or fraudulent, normal or outside the box—inform our work, enrich our lives and deserve respect. Especially from ourselves.
Can you give us a short excerpt that you feel is the best evidence to prove your thesis statement or main idea? That’s the problem I have with “Faking it until you make it,” because it assumes there is some kind of “normal behavior” we strive for, so we can “make it” and “achieve success.” If we can’t or we won’t, we decide there is something wrong with us, when there isn’t.
There is a lot wrong with not recognizing the value of having an outsider’s perspective, of being able to inhabit other personalities, of putting ourselves in places where we’re not a perfect fit, of reaching slightly beyond our grasp and then reaching further.
What is your experience of writing this excerpt? I think the essay includes some really good advice that I need to follow more often!
#001 Evidence of the Essay: “The Beast in Your Head” by Cynthia Marie Hoffman, published in SUN Magazine in August of 2024
#002 Evidence of the Essay “Haunting Houses” from THE MISSING GIRL by Jacqueline Doyle, published by Black Lawrence Press on September 19, 2017.